I knew him before he was….

dude… you’re doing it wrong.

for jaz

em… whatnow?

Germans are scary. (redux)

As further proof that there is something wrong with Germans, a loyal joshinthecity reader (let’s call her Jo-C) brought to my attention, that the German word for Nurse, is Krankenschwester. How comforting….
“Just a sec buddy, the KRANKENSCHWESTER! will be in to give you your sponge-bath in a minute.”!
I’d be running down the street with my butt hanging out of my gown in no time.

I’m pretty sure that any German nurse could kick my ass… Could you imagine one coming towards you yelling
” Krankenschwester!!” I’m pretty sure I would poo myself.
Thus requiring a sponge-bath.
See what I mean?
F*ckin Germans….
j.

(2006)

what. the. fuck?

Seriously…?

Texts from last night

“(312): i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.”

“(336): I just pynch a tree in the face”

“(813): dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.”

“(586): Ducking stuck downtown…all the fuxkig roads are blixkded”

“513): Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs”

“(757): DUDE. I’m missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
(703): I don’t know, but I chipped my tooth and I’m wearing different underwear.”

“(512): Don’t come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer”

“(505): We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
(505): The Rock won.”

“(415): Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.”

“(330): so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.”

“(908): You should see what I’m doing to your stuffed animals”

i scour the internets, so you don’t have to..

it’s almost easter, and you know what that means!!!!! ????