Every year in Israel, divine-bear attacks kill over 500 children.
Archive for April, 2008
09
Apr
The bible is bad-ass! (or) Why I like it when Jehova’s witnesses drop pamphlets off at my door
Moses, seen here, is about to murder the hell out of an unsuspecting Egyptian.
Founded by a dude who appears to have stolen his clothes after a stint as an extra on Star Trek, the Raelians are one of the few cults that occasionally make the news down here on Earth.
Rael lets you know on his website that he’s a Frenchman who used to be a cabaret singer and a race car driver, which realistically is slightly cooler than being a carpenter like Jesus or jolly fat man like Buddha. All of this was prior to meeting an alien named Yahweh, of course, who came to Rael to tell him about the origin of mankind as well as offering him the service of several futuristic sex robots.
Oh, hell yes. The Pope offers people holiday blessings and waves from behind bullet proof glass. Rael bangs sex robots from another galaxy. We’re not saying one’s cooler than the other, we’re just saying sex robots are cooler than anything the Pope has probably even thought of doing.
The movement is noted for such awesome things as claiming in 2002 to have cloned a human (which turned out to sort of being entirely untrue) and accusations of brainwashing via sex. Suavely balding leader Rael also has his own harem of women called the Order of Angels, who apparently exist just to bang the men and donate eggs to human cloning efforts.
Not content with all this amateur whoring, Rael also has an actual subgroup of real-life whores called Rael’s Girls made up solely of woman who work in the sex industry. If this whole religion sounds like some insanely clever man’s diabolical plan to wear pajamas all day and fuck really gullible women then, congratulations, you may qualify to enter the inner sanctum. Membership numbers indicate followers in the tens of thousands, most of whom were probably swayed in no way by the religion having its own skank squad.
Bristol based renewable energy company Marine Current Turbines has completed the first installation phase of the 1.2MW SeaGen Tidal System at Northern Ireland’s Strangford Lough - a site chosen for its combination of fast tidal current and ability to provide shelter from bad weather which may hinder the construction process. It is expected that the breakthrough power plant will be operational around mid-year with its massive 16m diameter twin rotors harnessing the tides to produce the equivalent amount of energy it takes to power 1000 homes. After its final assembly at the Harland & Wolff dockyard in Belfast, the crane barge “Rambiz” positioned the 1000 tonne structure onto the seabed 400m from the shoreline where it will be secured by four pins drilled to a depth of around nine meters.
You know it’s the future, when you stumble across a cool song written about someone employed as a coder for a big company.
Thanks Jo-C
02
Apr
Dear Connie
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